


Like bacon and eggs

by Petra



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blogging, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 00:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petra/pseuds/Petra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Entries from the hockey blog "Nah, Man, I'm Just Puckin' With You" from 2004-2006, beginning in the period when Evgeni Malkin played with Sidney Crosby until they were separated by the cruel NHL draft.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like bacon and eggs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [missmollyetc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmollyetc/gifts).



> missmollyetc wanted the 'verse where Sid and Geno are like Carts and Richie, et voilà.

TIDAL WAVE IN QUEBEC - The question no one's asking anymore--because anybody who cares has already asked it--is ["Where the fuck is Rimouski?"](http://anonym.to/?http://www.ville.rimouski.qc.ca/en/decouvrezRimouski/nav/interets/tourisme.html) (We're going to keep reminding you because that's the most-visited page on our site.) It's been at the end of the rainbow for the last year, with its phenomenal luck landing centres-and-wingmen Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby, one after the other. Watching them work together has been much more exciting than the league usually gets--and I'm not just damning them with faint praise.

Malkin's on his way to DC next season (if anyone thinks the word "labor dispute" near you, you have my permission to punch them), and the QMJHL is on the edge of their seats, waiting to see what Crosby does without him.

*

WHO SAID LOCKOUT - I'm blaming all of you because I didn't even think it. The only place anybody's happy right now is in Rimouski ([where the fuck is Rimouski?](http://anonym.to/?http://www.ville.rimouski.qc.ca/en/decouvrezRimouski/nav/interets/tourisme.html))--Evgeni Malkin's staying another year.

At least everybody stuck watching Major Junior has some damn good hockey to look forward to while we wait for the big boys to play nice.

*

BOTH ALIKE IN DIGNITY - In case you've been living under a rock, Sidney Crosby got drafted by the Pittsburgh Penguins. And the NHL is finally back on the ice, so it might matter, unlike when his QMJHL teammate Malkin went to the Capitals and came right back.

Their first game against each other is Saturday. The world's holding its breath, boys. Make Rimouski ([where the fuck is Rimouski?](http://anonym.to/?http://www.ville.rimouski.qc.ca/en/decouvrezRimouski/nav/interets/tourisme.html)) proud!

*

NOT WORKING TO POTENTIAL - I hated getting that note on my report cards. Evgeni Malkin's mom must not be like my mom, because man, I wouldn't have had dessert until I was fifty if I played like he's been playing.

Sure, he was great against the Penguins, but other than the few times he's out there measuring himself against his old teammate Crosby, he's not gelling with the Capitals at all. He's too busy holding down barstools, going by all the gossip. The Caps probably wish they could send him back to Rimouski ([where the fuck is Rimouski?](http://anonym.to/?http://www.ville.rimouski.qc.ca/en/decouvrezRimouski/nav/interets/tourisme.html)) and draft somebody else--like Alex Ovechkin, who's making a name for himself in Pittsburgh, picking up right where Malkin left off with Crosby.

Maybe Malkin can get a "Shows improvement" if he starts doing his homework, or he'll be headed to the AHL until he gets some of his speed back.

*

BARGAIN BASEMENT - After Evgeni Malkin's disappointing rookie year, who the hell would want him other than Rimouski ([where the fuck is Rimouski?](http://anonym.to/?http://www.ville.rimouski.qc.ca/en/decouvrezRimouski/nav/interets/tourisme.html))?

Ray Shero, that's who. Shero got him for a second-round draft pick and a couple of prospects. Let's hope the Caps like their grab-bag of goodies better than their departing player. If they put up ten points between them, they'll have a better season than Malkin did.

*

MALKIN'S BALLS FOUND - He must have left them in Rimouski ([where the fuck is Rimouski?](http://anonym.to/?http://www.ville.rimouski.qc.ca/en/decouvrezRimouski/nav/interets/tourisme.html)), and Crosby found them but refused to give them back until Malkin came to Pittsburgh and got an apartment with him.

How else do you explain Malkin's hattrick in his second game with the Pens, after he gave Crosby two assists, and Ovechkin one, in his first?

Ray Shero's laughing all the way to the bank, and Mario Lemieux's laughing all the way to the Cup if they keep this up. 


End file.
